A Guide to the Manners, Etiquette, and Deportment of the Most Refined Society

A Guide to the Manners, Etiquette, and Deportment of the Most Refined SocietyAmericans Have Always Been Obsessed With Self Improvement, So It Is No Surprise That This Guide On How We Should Deport Ourselves Was A Runaway Best Seller When First Published In Within, Readers Learned How To Address A Senator, How To Propose Or Decline A Proposal Of Marriage, How To Console A Friend On The Death Of A Loved One, And Even How To Attend To One S ToiletteOn Speaking One S Mind , He Writes That Certain Honest But Unthinking People Often Commit The Grievous Mistake Of Speaking Their Mind On All Occasions And Under All Circumstances, And Oftentimes To The Great Mortification Of Their Hearers A Little Reflection Ought To Show How Cruel And Unjust This Is In A Section Entitled The Relations Of An Engaged Couple , He Writes That A Lady Should Not Be Too Demonstrative Of Her Affection During The Days Of Her Engagement There Is Always The Chance Of A Slip Twixt The Cup And The Lip On Being Presented To The Court Of St James Presumably Something Everyone Should Do At Least Once He Tells Us That It Is Desirable To Be Early To Escape The Crowd When A Lady Arrives Before His Or Her Majesty, She Should Courtesy As Low As Possible, So As To Almost Kneel There Are Also Recipes For Such Household Necessities As Hair Restorative , And He Reveals The Subtleties Of Flowergiving With A List Of Bouquets And Their Hidden Messages Snapdragon Signify Presumption, White Daisies Innocence A Gift Of Dandelions Is An Invitation To A Bout Of Victorian Debauchery But It Is Much Than A Collection Of Rules, And Most Of Young S Advice About How To Navigate The Quirky S Of The Nineteenth Century Are As Commonsensical Now As They Were Then It Isalso Surprisingly Progressive Young Contended That Women Were Every Bit As Capable Of Intelligent Conversation As Men, And That Young Men Who Sought To Impress Ladies By Condescension Were Guilty Of Very Poor FormEvery Page In A Guide To The Manners, Etiquette, And Deportment Of The Most Refined Society Contains Something Curious, Ponderous, Or Hilarious It Is A Fascinating And Entertaining Look At Everyday Life In The Late Nineteenth Century, And In Many Ways The Basis For Everyday Life In Our Own

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  • Paperback
  • 426 pages
  • A Guide to the Manners, Etiquette, and Deportment of the Most Refined Society
  • John H. Young
  • English
  • 18 November 2019
  • 9781585742417

12 thoughts on “A Guide to the Manners, Etiquette, and Deportment of the Most Refined Society

  1. says:

    I have always loved reading pieces of this book, and finally decided to read it cover to cover It s from 19th century America And I love the author because he is down to earth and not afraid to give his opinion, even if it occasionally differs from well established custom His Christian background sometimes makes me feel that I m reading pages from The Strength of Youth or listening to a conference talk, especially when he discusses marriage For example, the man sums up in 3 pages how to choose a spouse that will make you happy, and from everything I know, it s great advice.I would want nothing for Kate and Danny than to be able to follow some of the direction of this book to become a confident and upright young lady and thoughtful and considerate young man In fact, dozens of manners for kids books have been written, but I prefer reading to my kids from this book, which we do on occasion Besides having lots of advice that is perfectly relevant still today, there is also plenty of completely obsolete but magnificent reading about riding horseback properly, attending balls, or having afternoon tea that makes the kids find the book delightful.Here s a passage that made me think REQUIREMENTS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE An absurd idea is held by some that intelligence and domestic virtues cannot go together in a potential wife that an intellectual woman will never be content to stay at home to look after the interests of her household and children A unreasonable idea has never been suggested, for as the intellect is strengthened and cultured, it has a greater capacity of affection, of domesticity and of self sacrifice for others p 185.Here is one passage I copied into my blog CHEERFULNESS AT THE TABLE Children should not be prohibited from laughing and talking at the table Joyousness promotes the circulation of the blood, enlivens and invigorates it, and sends it to all parts of the system, carrying with it animation, vigor and life Controversy should not be permitted at the table Every topic introduced should be calculated to instruct, interest or amuse Business matters, past disappointments and mishaps should not be alluded to, nor should bad news be spoken of at the table, nor for half an hour before All conversation should be of joyous and gladsome character, such as will bring out pleasant remarks and agreeable associations Reproof should never be administered at the table, either to a child or to a servant no fault found with anything, and no unkind word should be spoken Thus will the family table be the center of pleasant memories in future years, when the family shall have been scattered far and near, and some, perhaps, have been laid in their final resting place p 221.

  2. says:

    Great book to see what were considered the correct manners and etiquette young Americans during the early part of the 20th century tried to follow A lot of it you can t do now, but it s nice to finally learn the reasoning behind certain rules we all grew up hearing Even some we have no idea existed.

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