I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like: A Comprehensive Compilation of History's Greatest Analogies, Metaphors, and Similes

I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like: A Comprehensive Compilation of History's Greatest Analogies, Metaphors, and SimilesMetaphors are important Learn how to plant a seed in your reader s mind and get your message across.See what I did there p This book is chalked full of great examples and a nice resource to have on your bookshelf Highly recommend What a fun read Perfect for anyone interested in words and metaphors. The Murals In Restaurants Are On A Par With The Food In MuseumsAmerica Is An Enormous Frosted Cupcake In The Middle Of Millions Of Starving PeopleCritics Are Like Pigs At The Pastry CartDescribing Something By Relating It To Another Thing Is The Essence Of Metaphorical Thought It Is One Of The Oldest Activities Of Humankind And One Of The Most Impressive When Done Skillfully Throughout History, Many Masters Of Metaphor Have Crafted Observations That Are So Spectacular They Have Taken Up A Permanent Residence In Our MindsIn I Never Metaphor I Didn T Like, Quotation Maven Dr Mardy Grothe Fixes His Attention On The Three Superstars Of Figurative Language Analogies, Metaphors, And Similes The Result Is An Extraordinary Compilation Of Nearly , Feats Of Association That Will Entertain, Educate, And Occasionally Inspire Quotation Lovers EverywhereIn This Intellectual Smorgasbord, The Author Of Oxymoronica And Viva La Repartee Explains Figurative Language In A Refreshingly Down To Earth Way Before Taking Readers On A Tour Of History S Greatest Word Pictures In Chapters On Wit, Love, Sex, Stage And Screen, Insults, Politics, Sports, And , You Will Find Quotations From Aristotle And Maya Angelou To George Washington And Oprah Winfrey I love quotes I ve been collecting them since I was 15but clearly Grothe is a much better collector and organizer. Open it up, you re going to find some good ones A two year old is like having a blender, but you don t have a top for it Jerry Seinfeld And If you re black, you got to look at America a little bit different You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you Chris Rock And one I like because I don t really get it Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom Soren Kierkegaard Beef 1 too many metaphors about celebrities Beef 2 What s with centering all the metaphors It is distractinglydumbBeef 3 Inexcusably dorky comments We get P.J O Rourke s quote Making fun of born again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope And then we get Mardy Grothe s explanation O Rourke s point is that born again Christians are such an easy target that it s not particularly impressive to make wisecracks about them Okay maybe I need to just compile my own list of metaphors I love and let everybody else have their fun. A Review Written Mainly in Metaphors and other figurative language and things you would be better off not knowing about.This book of metaphors is an ocean of great depths and of shallows that smell sort of like fish It is not a bad book, and the title is certainly descriptive Dr Grothe collects metaphors, similes, and other figurative language in the same way a supermarket acquires potato chips wholesale Some of the observations in this collection are as wise as the proverbial ass Some are somber and straight faced Puritans Some, so sappy and wooden that the Puritans could have built the Mayflower from them Here a few of my personal favorites A critic is a man who knows the way, but cannot drive the car Tynan Life is a curable disease Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short Molly Irvin I love deadlines I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by Doug AdamsAnd here s one that came from the shallow end of the talent pool Life is like a marathon If you can finish a marathon, you can do anything you like Oprah Winfrey.Unfortunately, Grothe doesn t explain Oprah s simile in the book, so I will attempt to do it for you Oprah seems to be saying, Finishing all 26 miles of the Marathon is a great accomplishment thus, since Life is like a Marathon, if you can finish your life, you will be able to accomplish anything you like, as long as it is something you can do you know when you re dead As I said, this is not a bad book, but if you hunger for such things, do not attempt to devour it on one sitting Rather, lock it away in the icebox, taking it out only to snack on late at night when you can t sleep. Quite enjoyable read I love metaphors and this book did not disappoint. For the past 8 years, I have been collecting all the phrases that speak to me at the time of reading them I write them down and reference them, the old fashioned way in a hard cover notebook, which is always sitting on my desk Over time I ve amassed quite a nice collection and this notebook has become a fountain of wisdom, thoughts, humor, wit and a sort of a companion Sometimes I like to flip through the pages, rereading the passages and reliving the thoughts they elicit Sometimes I get what on earth was I thinking writing this down moments too.I thoroughly enjoyed this book An abundance of humor, food for thought and clever use of language. My fav quotes not a review Page 89 The lights are on, but there s nobody home Page 91 She is a phenomenon of nature, like Niagara Falls or the Grand Canyon You can t talk to it It can t talk to you All you can do is stand back and be awed by it Page 92 beautiful palace without central heating Page 94 He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened Page 95 He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow Page 96 He talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages Page 97 Freud is the father of psychoanalysis It had no mother Page 97 If ignorance ever goes to 40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush s head Page 98 He was to ordinary male chauvinist pigs what Moby Dick was to whales Page 98 A grenade with the pin pulled Page 98 As a work of art, it has the same status as a long conversation between two not very bright drunks Page 100 He looks just like the little man on the wedding cake Page 100 His imagination resembled the wings of an ostrich It enabled him to run, though not to soar Page 104 Poor George, he can t help it He was born with a silver foot in his mouth Page 113 Unsolicited advice is the junk mail of life Page 113 Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind Page 113 personal observation inflated into a universal truth, a private posing as a general Page 114 Compromise makes a good umbrella, but a poor roof Page 115 A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind Page 116 Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity Page 117 Global warming might be a fever the earth is running in an attempt to ward off a deadly infection known as homo sapiens Page 121 Scientists are peeping toms at the keyhole of eternity Page 122 Toleration is the best religion Page 122 Truth is a fruit which should not be plucked until it is ripe Page 122 Wine is bottled poetry Page 130 The implication is clear drink enough of life so that, at the end, you won t be thirsting for but not so much that you will stagger in a stupor into your grave Page 132 Life is a sexually transmitted disease and there is a one hundred percent mortality rate Page 146 A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle Page 149 Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit Page 149 Jealousy in romance is like salt in food A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life threatening Page 150 It has been said that a pretty face is like a passport But it s not it s a visa, and it runs out fast Page 150 A woman is like your shadow follow her, she flies fly from her, she follows Page 151 The firmest friendships have been formed in mutual adversity, as iron is most strongly united by the fiercest flame Page 151 Women are like tricks by sleight of hand, Which, to admire, we should not understand Page 153 Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze Page 154 Relationships are hard It s like a full time job, and we should treat it like one If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks notice There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp Page 155 A woman should be like a good suspense movie The left to the imagination, the excitement there is This should be her aim to create suspense Page 156 wind douses a candle and kindles a fire Page 157 The worldly relations of men and women often form an equation that cancels out without warning when some insignificant factor has been added to either side Page 157 Women s hearts are like old china, none the worse for a break or two Page 157 When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands Page 161 Talking with a man is like trying to saddle a cow You work like hell, but what s the point Page 161 The first time you buy a house you think how pretty it is and sign the check The second time you look to see if the basement has termites The Consolations of Philosophy Alain de Botton Page 46 feeding without a friend is the life of a lion or a wolf The Consolations of Philosophy Alain de Botton Page 47 We must free ourselves from the prison of everyday affairs and politics , and began what could best have been described as a commune, accepting a simpler way of life in exchange for independence They would have less money but would never again have to follow the commands of odious superiors Page 174 I have met on the street a very poor man who was in love His hat was old, his coat was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes, and the stars through his soul Page 179 Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties Page 181 To say that you can love one person all your life is like saying that one candle will continue to burn as long as you live L E O TO L S TOY Page 183 When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind Page 187 Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy Page 190 Conjugality made me think of a three legged race, where two people cannot go fast and keep tripping each other because their two legs are tied together Page 197 Marriage is like a five thousand piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky Page 197 A man s home may seem to be his castle on the outside inside it is often his nursery Page 197 After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6 of marriage Page 201 Men are April when they woo, December when they wed m a r r i a g e , h o m e f a m i l y l i f e 197 maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives Page 201 just as a sailor becomes dependent on the sea Page 202 Take it from me, marriage is not a word it s a sentence Page 208 Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex you thought of nothing else if you didn t have it and thought of other things if you did Page 219 Most men approach sex a lot like shooting a game of pinball We don t have any idea about the internal workings or what we should do to win, we re just gonna try to keep the ball in play as long as possible Page 228 the stages of a woman s life in a spectacular geo graphical metaphor From 16 to 22, like Africa part virgin, part explored 23 to 35, like Asia hot and mysterious 35 to 45, like the USA high toned and technical 46 to 55, like Europe quite devastated, but interesting in places Page 229 Old age is like climbing a mountain You climb from ledge to ledge The higher you get, the tired and breathless you become but your views become extensive Page 230 The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young Page 232 At eighteen our convictions are hills from which we look at forty five they are caves in which we hide Page 232 If wrinkles must be written on our brows, let them not be written upon the heart Page 233 When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults Page 237 The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped Page 241 I make all my decisions on intuition I throw a spear into the darkness That is intuition Then I must send an army into the darkness to find the spear That is intellect Page 243 Television is chewing gum for the eyes Page 246 A play is like a cigar If it is a failure no amount of puffing will make it draw If it is a success everyone wants a box Page 246 Be like a duck Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath Page 246 If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come Page 248 When I talk to him, I feel like a plant that s been watered Page 249 I felt like a raisin in a gigantic fruit salad Page 250 Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you ve got a pretty neck Tyne Page 252 Working for Warner Brothers is like fucking a porcupine it s a hundred pricks against one Page 259 A monarchy is a merchantman, which sails well, but will sometimes strike on a rock, and go to the bottom whilst a republic is a raft which would never sink, but then your feet are always in the water Page 262 Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through Page 268 Treaties are like roses and young girls they last while they last C H A R L E S D E G AU L L E Page 268 Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil, and you re a thousand miles from the corn field Page 270 if one feeds the horse enough oats, some will pass through to the road for the sparrows Page 273 Being in politics is like being a football coach You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it s important Page 273 Political image is like mixing cement When it s wet, you can move it around and shape it, but at some point it hardens and there s almost nothing you can do to reshape Page 277 Whoever mounts a tiger can never again dismount Ageless Body, Timeless Mind Deepak Chopra, M.D Page 90 However, emotional factors have been strongly linked to another major type of arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis This disorder seems to favor women who have a marked tendency to repress emotion, who adopt passivity and depression as a mode of coping with stress rather than getting angry or confronting serious emotional issues The disease can get worse under stress, and, for inexplicable reasons, it can also disappear, perhaps in obedience to a deeper current of change Page 277 Politicians are like diapers They should be changed frequently, and for the same reason Page 284 There are no winners, only survivors Page 285 Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake Page 286 Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee The hand can t hit what the eye can t see Page 290 Competitive golf is played mainly on a five and a half inch course the space between your ears Page 291 Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile Page 294 Statistics are used by baseball fans in much the same way that a drunk leans against a street lamp it s there for support than enlightenment Page 305 With a novelist, like a surgeon, you have to get a feeling that you ve fallen into good hands someone from whom you can accept the anesthetic with confidence Page 306 To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting Page 317 A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic No than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender. A great little book full of memorable quotes.It was a pleasure reading this and I saved many passages Some will have you pause and wade in reflection Others will have you laughing out loud Yet others may make you cry.Dr Mardy Grothe separates the chapters by topic Insults, Relationships, Life and Love are some of the themes touched upon There is a passage for every situation.A cool book to have as a companion whenever you feel like your brain needs a metaphorical massage.

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  • Hardcover
  • 336 pages
  • I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like: A Comprehensive Compilation of History's Greatest Analogies, Metaphors, and Similes
  • Mardy Grothe
  • English
  • 01 June 2019
  • 9780061358135

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