This book is fucked THEY FALL IN LOVE IN TWO DAYS. What If The Person You Were Meant To Be With Could Never Be Yours Year Old Lucinda Falls In Love With A Gorgeous, Intelligent Boy, Daniel, At Her New School, The Grim, Foreboding Sword Cross Only To Find Out That Daniel Is A Fallen Angel, And That They Have Spent Lifetimes Finding And Losing One Another As Good Evil Forces Plot To Keep Them Apart Get Ready To Fall Thanks, Satan, but your book recommendation didn t work out that well Better luck next time, yeah Along with literally HUNDREDS of other people who read this book, I was completely brainwashed by the stunning cover I literally walked into WHSmith, looked at it, had a massive aneurysm, and by the time I d come round the book was inexplicably in my hand and my wallet was thirty dollars lighter.Who knew Gaiz I should have known better than to pick up something that P.C Cast, of all people, loved loved loved P.C Cast would love love love a piece of broken dry wall if it promised her some publicity I mean, really Come on Just take a look at this thingShe didn t usually get involved with rocker guys but then again, none of them had ever pulled the desk next to her even closer, plopped down beside her, and stared at her with eyes quite so green That s, umyeah That s pretty bad, guys I am constantly appalled by the craft of this book It feels cheeky, in fact, for this book to just sit there on my shelf, playing coy, flicking its hair like it doesn t know shit I feel like, if it could talk, it would smirk and say, Look how many of me there are There s only one of you Yes, there is indeed only one of me, Fallen, but at least I have my pride What the cover of this book tries to tell you is that this is a dark, twisty tale of dark, twisty things with dark, twisty characters that ll make you do one because they re so dark and twisty and awesome But alas, the characters in this book are no dark and twisty than the flame guy from Howl s Moving Castle That was a GREAT movie They do nothing but wander around, angst, fuck each other over passive aggressively, whine, angst some , fuck each other over some , whine again, kiss like something from a cheap Harlequin knock off and then BAM Get on a private plane and fly straight into the core of the sun Oh, if only I were so lucky.Seriously, the entire story arc of this novel goes like this Daniel I fucking hate Luce Luce I fucking love Daniel Daniel I fucking hate Luce Luce Ermagerd, angels Daniel treats Luce like shit Luce Ermagerd, angels swoon Luce and Daniel are an absolute catastrophe, the literary Tunguska event, just some sort of vast explosion of shite that annihilates anything within a thousand mile radius Not only are they both fuckwits, but they re worse when they re together Luce becomes stupider, and Daniel becomes evil, in that he s not just a rude asshole but he s actually seriously problematic and controlling I m not sure whose sphincter this fuckboys are hot and power imbalances are sexy trope was pulled out of, but it s making me rage It s like this Daniel tells Luce who she should and should not talk to, makes disgusting gestures at her, talks to her as if she s a piece of crap, calls her stupid, and let s not forget the crowning glory, which is that fact that he has murdered hundreds and hundreds of incarnations of her in the past.Am I a sap, for buying into this series Probably But my copy must have been lacking in dispensed soma gas, because to me Daniel never appears to be in any way SEXY or GORGEOUS or AMAZING or SWEET He is a piece of shit He is a poster boy for patriarchal violence As if we needed any unintentional metaphors for dating violence in YA.The crux of it is that Daniel is a fucking serial killer And I for one will not invest myself in a hero who has systematically murdered every incarnation of his lover since the dawn of time And that s what this is Look when Daniel kisses or has romantic contact with Luce, she explodes into a ball of flame Every single time, he knows this, and yet he still pursues her How is this in any way justifiable You can call it what you want, but this is the truth He murders Luce Murders her He premeditates his interaction with her, then approaches her and makes advances, knowing that it will all end with her death.Why can t people see this The male lead in this book is a murderer Why would you want a boyfriend who is happy to murder you What is that Why is that okay Why is that romantic WHY It s not like there was even a halfway decent plot to wrap a silver lining around all that rape culture There was just a huge black hole of nothingness, peppered with vague references to Luce s black hair which everybody seems to be inexplicably obsessed with and some confusing is she or isn t she flip flopping with Penn, who s basically there to fill in the dialogue gaps while Luce obsesses over that fuckhead Daniel Luce spends about 90% of her time fawning over Daniel, 3% angsting about the bland sub plot of the moving shadows, and 7% expressing this smug disgust of anyone who isn t Daniel And what in the name of David Bowie s blouse was going on with the setting For a reform school, there wasn t much reforming going on It was basically just a boarding school with some easily outsmarted cameras pretending to be ominous and barred windows which, when the students are allowed to skip class and roam the grounds, prove to be completely pointless Why bar the windows if you re going to let students just wander right out of the front gate And that isn t even the half of it This book is just so intellectually challenged It s like that annoying little cousin who insists that one plus one equals window, because they think that makes them cute or funny or endearing Fallen, you are as cute, funny and endearing as a fungal infection Really, though There are so many ridiculous things about this book The last scene The principal flies Luce off in private plane tosomewhere, tosome end, withsomeone I actually don t understand the principal s involvement at all Also, the entire school was full of angels just meandering around making cryptic remarks to Luce No, it s not as if, as angels, they have anything better to do They just swan about being so funny, so witty, so mysterious, so hot Guys, no wonder God kicked you out of Heaven You are absolutely insipid And why didn t they realize that the evil megalomaniac villain was just casually chilling in the library Talking to Luce They appear to know who the villain is once she reveals herself to Luce, so why didn t they just catch her in the parking lot and stab the shit out of her Daniel even hangs around in the library He has actual fucking contact with the person whom he knows is out to kill Luce, or something, whatever, this book makes no sense.I feel like this book has some kind of personal vendetta against me It wants to watch me squirm It wants to wriggle around in my hands, adjusting its perfect makeup and snorting delicately whenever I roll my eyes at its stupidity, as if I could simply never understand it This book is a snob An entitled, cheeky, overhyped snob If it were a person, I d slap it upside the head This book can go eat a peppercorn This book can go stuff itself.And just to add insult to injury, my copy smells funny Kind of like Dentastix That s cool, though, because after flagellating myself with it once, I won t be touching it with a barge pole FIN 1 StarGeeeeez.This was quite the YA train wreck And I probably should have known better But, I saw this on the library shelfits protective and majestic plastic library jacket just gleaming with promises of fantastical wonderand I was drawn in like the total sucker I am But then reality hit Sigh This thing was about 100 pages too longwhile still simultaneously feeling like it was 100 pages too short of actual information You know, INFORMATION, AKAWHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ONThe mystery of what who Daniel and all the other keys players in this thing are were withheld until the last 30 pages of this 420 page jackfest, and not only that, but I felt like we were moving at the pace of molasses High viscous molasses Traveling uphill On carpet I mean FUCK, come on.I don t know if I should beat my own ass for starting thisBeat my own ass even harder for finishing thisOr just call it a day and straight off myself over the fact that I am actually considering reading book two Find me at I didn t like this book the first time I read it, when it was called A formal review of this book is on my blog which is still new xD Check it out Updated March 9th, 2012 Also everyone, click here sigh A fucking movie Just what I needed.Luce.Lucinda Fucking Price.You d still stalk a guy even after he flipped you off when you first locked eyes with him Even if he told you STRAIGHT IN THE FACE that he didn t want ANYTHING to do with you.Why Justwhy I mean, he s hot I get it But what the fuck about Daniel Grigori is even remotely close to sweetOr did you not want sweetness in your boyfriends Did you actually want to be treated like doormat covered with shit Maybe you re a masochist, then No surprise there.You know who was sweet and available and equally hot You know who didn t treat you like a pile of crap But of course, Lauren Kate decided to make him the bad guy in the end You all know who I m talking about I was just starting to like him, too.Actually, I do like Cam He may be the bad guy, but I d take him over Daniel any day.But seriously Daniel just pissed me the hell off And it also pissed me off how Luce constantly stalks him and doesn t have any self respect to just, oh, I don t know, MOVE ON AND STOP TORTURING YOURSELF OVER HIM, MAYBE He s Not Worth Your Fucking Time.I MEAN COME ON THE GUY FLIPPED HER OFF HERE, FOR GOD S SAKES AAAAARGH I M SO FRUSTRATED WHOEVER FINDS DANIEL GRIGORI DESIRABLE NEEDS THEIR BRAIN CELLS CHECKED.Seriously though Luce, you can forget about him and move on, you know You don t always have to be a sad, whiny bitch that gets humiliated and pointedly ignored by the hot guy You can just keep your chin up and not give a fuck You can be better than that.But no You choose not to be You choose to be a pathetic stalker that doesn t give two shits that the hot guy is basically treating you like dog poo And I despise you for that.Ugh These two are probably one of the most irritating YA couples out there, right next to Ever and Damen.Did I mention how closely this book and Ever resemble each other 1 Stupid, irritating, obsessive, outcast heroine 2 Immortal, muscular, mysterious, flawless, jackass hero.3 Reincarnation bullshit 4 The chick dies every time they fall in love.Honestly The romance really is the main thing about this book that I just hate so much Luce is annoying and Daniel is the epitome of asswipe Besides the romance, the characters were just so damn unlikable.Except for Penn Sigh, she was the only decent character in the whole book And she just view spoiler had to get killed off, didn t she, Kate hide spoiler Boring, lacking interesting characters, boring, terrible love interest, Bella Swan, boring There are so many things I could rant about the 30% that I read, but instead I shall review this is one gif. First off, I d have given this book zero stars were it possible, but since it isn t I gave it one star This book is full of fail, end of story There is no other way to describe this book, really That s a lie There is another way to describe how bad this book is Take everything that sucked about the Twilight series and multiply that by any number except zero Or one Or any negative number Aw, crap, you know what I mean Because really, this book is a bad version of Twilight except with fallen angels instead of vampires Oh, and, compared to this book, Twilight is a friggin literary masterpiece That s how bad this book is You think Bella is irritating Meet Luce Price, the most irritating protagonist ever She s stupid yet still somehow incredibly smart, according to her grades , a creepy stalker, and has zero sense of self worth or shame When Daniel, this story s hero , flips Luce the bird and then proceeds to treat her like garbage on several occasions what does Luce do She instantly becomes obsessed with Daniel and breaks into the school records room to find out about him Not once does she think she might be crossing a line by going through someones private records Obviously, talking to him like a normal person would to find out about him, is out of the question,amiriteOh, and when a guy treats a girl like garbage that is actually code for TRULUV4EVA Look, I could go on and on about how idiotic this book is, but I won t since I have better things to do, like, write hate mail to the publisher of this book Seriously, I d be hard pressed to find a book that is worse then this flaming pile of garbage, and had I a time machine I d use it to go back in time in order to stop myself from ever reading this book To sum up my review Worst Book I ve Ever Read EVER yes, the second ever was entirely necessary An incredible waste of time and money, and ink, and treesI could go on and on and on This book makes babies cry Edit As of February 26, 2010 over nine hundred goodreads users think this book is amazing Amazing Really I mean, don t get me wrong, I fully understand really liking a book that has little to no literary value see my guilty pleasures shelf for proof But amazing Come on people Five stars really should be reserved for the classics great literary works, or something that really moves you emotionally makes you think on a deeper level then usual makes you want to be a better person It is beyond me that anyone truly loves this book Seriously I m sure a lot of you are wondering why, if I hated this book so much, I read the entire thing Originally, after only reading the first few chapters of this book I hurled it across the room in a fit of anger and no, I m not a rageaholic This book the fact that it was published and I was duped into wasting money on it just enraged me that much But I had to finish it I just had to Because I was dumb enough to believe it got better but it didn t It just got worse and worse as the book continued The absolute worst part is this book is 452 pages long, and the first 400 pages contain no plot whatsoever Though I already mentioned how much I dislike the protagonist I feel I should add Luce is an insipid creature read TSTL All she does is think of the most mundane crap stuff that isn t in the least bit important or interesting it almost makes you want to take a drill to your own head At one point she even wonders what size shoe Daniel wears mind you this is during the same period if time he s sending out strong I hate Luce vibes like nobody s business And yeah, for a girl who may or may not have accidentally on purpose killed the last boy she liked, it s truly creepy how easily she gets over it and readily moves on to the next victims boys Is she that messed up and desensitized Seems to me Luce is a sociopath and should be in prison, not reform school Speaking of said reform school It s laughable how the security is practically non existent Did the author do any research on reform schools I mean, come onThese teens not counting Penn are at this reform school because they are then a little dangerous to themselves and or others They are there to be reformed, not kindasorta babysat I really could go on about the massive plot holes contained in this novel of which there are several but I won t I m just going to say one last thing I m shocked that something this bad could be published and then I kid you not be optioned for a film Really Disney You really want to take this horribly written excuse of a novel and make it into a movie Are you that hard up for script ideas Really Fine, go ahead Perpetuate the death of all good literature Celebrate mediocrity Rape the young minds of our society I mean, everyone else is doing it, why not join in As long as you make a buck who cares, amirite Quick review of goodreads rating system five stars amazing , four stars really liked it , three stars liked it , two stars it was okay , one star didn t like it UPDATE 06 27 11 Over 300 people like this review Yay I WIN THE INTERNET Or at least I win a medal in the Crazy Rant About A Horrible Book category I d like to thank everyone who made this possible Goodreads friends, followers of my reviews and everyone else who read and voted for my review I couldn t have done this without any of you Also, special thanks go out to Al Gore, the creators of Goodreads, Delacorte Press, whoever green lighted this book, all the trees that selflessly laid down their lives so this book could be put into print and, of course, Lauren Kate Peace OutWolverines Evidence of this book s similarities to Twilight 1 New girl at school2 Mary Sue3 Girl attracts the hottest guys even though she has no personality or depth or anything remotely interesting about her4 Guy is extremely mysterious because he stands at a corner and glares at everyone passing by rude, and tells the girl to stay away from him5 Guy follows her around, and the girl isn t fazed whatsoever6 Guy is 100 and something years old and girl is 17I don t understand What is it with YA paranormal romance writers and making their characters complete dimwits with no depth I m tired of these dull, boring, weak, characterless girls It s a damn shame I ve had such shitty experiences with YA books in my life It makes me want to give up on the YA romance genre for good.
Lauren Kate is the author of the Fallen novels, the Teardrop novels, and The Betrayal of Natalie Hargrove, and her newest release, The Orphan s Song She lives in Laurel Canyon with her family.
- 452 pages
- Lauren Kate
- 08 December 2018 Lauren Kate